981 St. Mary's Road,
Winnipeg, MB R2M 3S2
A cop pulled a car over for speeding and the cop asked the driver, “sir, do you know you were doing 110 mph in a 90 mph zone?”
“Yes! I'm sorry, but that's because I was racing another car and lost track of the speed.”
Since the cop didn't see any other car, the cop asked the driver “Sir, have you been drinking?”
“A bit of whiskey,” the driver said, “but just because I needed something to take with the LSD I took at a party!”
“LSD,” the cop asked. “Sir, I need you to step out of the car! Is there anything else I need to know? Drugs? Firearms?”
“Sure,” the driver answered. “There is at least five pounds of cocaine in my glove department and an AK-47 under my seat! But please, don’t open the trunk, or the person I just kidnapped will scape!”
The cop, not believing what he heard and a little afraid, called his superior. Upon his arrival, the cop told the Sheriff everything and the Sheriff told his officer to wait by his car while he spoke to the driver.
“Sir,” the sheriff said. “My subordinate told me you have a kidnapped person in your trunk.”
The driver opened the trunk for the sheriff. “As you can see,” the driver said, “there's nothing here but my jack and spare tire.”
“And the AK-47 under your seat,” the Sheriff asked.
“There’s no such thing here, just an umbrella. The driver said as he pulled his seat forward.
“I see, and the cocaine in your glove compartment?”
The driver opened his glove compartment. “You must be kidding me! Only my registration’s there!”
“Have you been drinking or engaging in any kind of drugs,” the sheriff asked.
“Sir,” the driver said. “I don’t smoke cigarettes. I don’t even drink soda! I’ve been in my home all night with my mom and she's the most fervently religious woman you'll ever know! That cop over there must be kidding you. He told you I was drunk, took drugs, was armed and a drug dealer, and had kidnapped someone? Did he tell you I was speeding too?”
(Source: Jalopnik: http://jalopnik.com/the-ten-best-car-jokes-472452509)
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On the off chance you want to give your mechanic a run for his money, try not changing out your grimy, dirty oil for a while. Old or new, your vehicle likely won't make it past 30,000 kms before it's down. Think about that and how most manufacturers say that one litre of motor oil will last 1,000 kms. Efficient, right? Kind of. If your car only holds three litres of oil and you get an oil change every 5,000 kms, you're running on fumes.
Your oil is as easy to take care of as it is to forget. Get an oil change every 3,000 kms and you'll be able to rest easy.